(00:01):
Why the system is like it is. And it's because like we had quotas. We, we had to bring in kids and, uh, we were pressured to bring in kids. And we were told like if we didn't bring in, like, if they were adopted or reunited, that we had to bring in more kids. And that was not, that didn't set right with me.
(00:30):
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(01:00):
Hey everybody, it's Shout Your Cause again and I've got some really great guests today to continue conversation about child welfare reform. I've got Sylvia Beachy here and k k Emmett, and we are talking about Rescue The Fosters. Tell me more about what you're doing and what Rescue The Fosters is. Let's go Sylvia.
(01:22):
Well, thank you so much, Sally. Um, so Rescue The Fosters, um, is about giving the children in children and youth in the foster system a voice. Uh, what I noticed when I worked in the system, uh, I worked in the group home. I was case manager, I was transporter, behavior aid, parent aid. In all of those different roles, I noticed that the youth do not have a voice and they are talking and they are telling you what's going on, but they're considered liars. Um, and so you, you kind of get caught in the middle of basically trying to do your job and advocate for them and fighting with the supervisors and directors. So Rescue the Fosters is basically, for one, the most important is to give youth in foster care a voice. So if you are a foster youth and you do have an issue, um, you can contact us through email or through our website.
(02:23):
Um, so the website is rescue the fosters.org. And then also our, um, email is rescue the Fosters proton.me. Um, and then the other thing that we're offering, um, and this was because I noticed that, um, once the youth h out of the system, they're pretty much dropped on the streets. Um, and, and that's where a lot of our youth are, is on the streets. So it's basically resources to keep them off the streets. Um, so resume writing, interview skills, independent living skills, uh, job application, uh, college application, anything like that, um, is to offer them resources. And then we also, um, advocate for our families navigating the system. So that's getting tons of calls about that. Um, and then KK can kind of tell you her experience, uh, because that's how we started the organization was because KK aged out of the system and she had no place to go or, you know, didn't really know what to do. So, um, we were like, let's start this organization so she can kind of talk about that.
(03:46):
Okay. So, um, yeah, basically what Sylvia was saying, um, when I was in foster care at age 15, you know, I witnessed a lot of things going wrong. Like, you know, um, a lot of fights, gang initiations, you know, girls hurting each other, suicides and things like that. And, you know, a lot of the girls knew that there were things going wrong. Like they, they knew that they were doing it for the money. Even I sensed that. However, I didn't always like really talk about it because, you know, like, like she was saying, you'll be considered like a liar, like you don't know what you're talking about. And a lot of that, I just kept that to myself cuz I didn't really wanna, you know, uh, bring like confrontations or problems, you know, for me, I stayed out of a lot of the trouble. I stayed to myself, you know, um, I basically hung up by myself and um, really just had a good relationship with God and my support system.
(04:43):
So yeah, like she was saying basically yeah, when you hit 21 you basically, you're, you age out the system and lot that, uh, what happens is you just end up being alone and defending for yourself. And that's a lot what I had to go through. And you know, I don't want no foster kids to have to go through that where they just dropped on the streets and they don't know really what to do because yeah, they teach you the skills, but it's so like, rushed to the point where it's like you're panicking and you're always in this survival mode that you're like, okay, well I know they taught me this, but it's like they taught it so quickly that it wasn't really easy for me to comprehend it so quick. So it, it really puts a toll on you and, um, a lot of it, yeah, you have to learn through experience, but like I was saying, like you don't have as much, you know, time to comprehend it and learn it and still be able to be stable cuz it's like you're constantly, you know, trying to find a job of this and also trying to find a place to live.
(05:46):
And it's like, it's so hard to do all of it at one time because it's like for, you know, normal kids that you know, already grew up out of, you know, living without their pa I mean growing up with their parents and then aging, they are already in a better stable environment than foster care kids because, you know, they were rushed through their whole life. They were teaching them all these different skills like how to manage your money and it's like a foster kid ain't not gonna learn that so quickly than a normal kid is, at least to me. So that's why we came up with the idea of rescue the Fosters, cuz yeah, a lot of kids don't really have a voice and a lot of kids are very rushed and um, that's also something I'm very passionate is helping. I just don't want them to experience the same thing that I did. So that's why we came up with this rest of the fosters.
(06:40):
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(07:10):
I think this is great. This is sounds really awesome, um, Kaja or KK as you're called, uh, I think that you're very brave woman to allow them to help you and to, and to work with Sylvia to get these protocols and systems together so that kids do know where to go. I mean, come on, my kids are 23 and, and some of 'em are, you know, I've got a couple of kids still living here at the house that are adults and yes, I'm gonna support them in every way. And you gotta also realize that mental and emotional support when you're going through something, even if you know what the steps are, if you don't have that mental and emotional support from other people gathered around you that you know, you can count on, you can bounce ideas off, you can ask questions, you can get them to help you if you stumble. But if you're on your own and you're 21, I mean, come on, most people are thinking, oh, I'm 21, I've got my ID and I'm gonna go out and party. But, but you're over there going, ah, I need to know where I'm gonna put my head tonight.
(08:23):
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that, and the other thing that KK mentioned was the survival mode. So they're constantly in survival mode. So in the group home it's not like a stable, it's not, well, foster care is not a stable environment, period. So you are constantly in the survival mode. And so, like, like she was saying, it is hard to to think through what you were taught. Um, and they do have classes, you know, like, you know, it's required to have classes, but it's like one here and one there, you know, and then in the meantime you're probably breaking up a fight and tracking down a runaway, you know, it's just like, it, it's, it's crazy. So yeah, so like she said, yeah, it is given, but then you have to apply it and you're like, where do I go? What do I do? ? You know, so she made a good point on that.
(09:22):
So are there any stories you want to bring out that might help demonstrate, you know, maybe, maybe a situation you've worked with where you've helped somebody that you'd like to tell?
(09:32):
Yeah, actually I was, um, I was telling you before this show about, um, this foster youth that, um, I found on the streets. So, um, I've noticed this homeless, uh, youth, well, he looked young, he looked about in his twenties and I don't know why, I just thought, I bet he's from the foster system. So I just grabbed a few dollars and I walked up to him and I said, Hey, what's your story? And he just was like, Hey, I'm in Bethle and it happened to be Bethlehem, Bethlehem, Georgia, and this was around Christmas time, so this is how you know God is working, right? So, um, and he's like, well, I ended up here because I found my biological father and um, my foster parent didn't like it and he cut me off and he ruined my name and I couldn't get a job.
(10:22):
And he goes, and I've been on the streets, but at the time I didn't know it was five years. And I was like, well, is there anything I can help you with to get off the streets? I started this, uh, nonprofit called Rescue the Fosters, and you know, do you need anything? And he goes, yeah, actually I need an id. If I could get an ID, then I could get a job. I don't have any paperwork. This is something else that people don't realize because they don't just can kids their paperwork, so they have to figure out how to get their paperwork. So I was like, yeah, we can help you do that. Well, let me give you my number. So I said, my name is Sylvia. And when I did that, he goes, oh my God, that's my mom's name, that's my biological mom's name.
(11:06):
He goes, I've been looking for her. So, um, I didn't have any pen or anything on me, so I ran and I sent it to Terry with Let Our Children Go. And within 24 hours I was talking to the mom. 24 to 48 hours we had located her and uh, we connected her with him and he actually moved in with her. She was, ended up being like an hour and a half away. Um, she calls me every day. Um, and it, she hadn't seen her son, um, since he was six years old and he was 22 and he had been on the streets for five, almost, uh, almost five years. And, um, he's now got his id, he's got his social security, he has a job. He just started a job like two days ago. Um, I mean it was just so surreal. Uh, like we were like, okay, this is God, because we would not have had that conversation if my name was not Sylvia and her name was not Sylvia.
(12:08):
You know, we wouldn't have had that conversation. And I'm like, okay, God, you just reconfirmed this is what, why I'm doing this. Um, so that's something else that we're really passionate about is connecting families together. So if you are looking for a loved one that you were torn by the foster system or the family court system, because his situation was the family court, it was a guardianship, it wasn't even like foster care or anything like that. But, um, so that, that is our one, our first time going on the streets, walking up to youth. And this is why I say the youth are on the streets. They really are. And we gotta start taking care of 'em.
(12:58):
Yeah, we do. We definitely do. And it, and you found a jewel there when you met him and was able to actually get something going through Rescue The Fosters.
(13:10):
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(13:36):
Now, are there other situations that you, um, may step into? Do you, how long do you typically work with youth once you or aging out youth, once they come to you, what do you, how long do you work with them?
(13:54):
Well, that depends on them. Um, I think it's, it has to be a relationship. Like some of these kids just need someone to talk to. Um, and like I've known KK since she was 15, so about five, six years. How old are you kk? 21. 20, yeah. So it just really depends on the youth and you know, like if they wanna continue that relationship. I mean that Blake, that young man, he calls me every day, you know, like, Hey, how are you doing? You know what? So whatever the need is, I, I don't mind, um, continuing that relationship because it's not just like, okay, here's your job, go away. You know, actually those kids can help us, you know, and a lot of 'em have, you know, ways of teaching us. Um, and they're so brilliant, you know, and so adaptive. I, I could not live on the streets, , I'll tell you right now. But yeah, just as long as whatever works for them.
(15:01):
So are you working with kids in certain states or are you all over the US or how's it, how does it work to actually work with you?
(15:11):
Uh, we're in Monroe, Georgia, um, so if you're local, uh, we will, you know, meet up with you. But if, uh, we also do Zoom, like KK is mentoring and I think she has two, two youth. She's mentoring and I think they're outta state, so she does like phone calls and Zoom and stuff like that. So, and with the pandemic, it kind of did put us into this like Zoom and phone call world. So now we can, we can use that. So we are across the us the cases that I'm working on are across the us We have some in California, some in Florida. So I mean, it's complete opposite sides of the world
(15:59):
And you're advocating for them to just, just get into the workforce, to get into a place to live, to a, apply for jobs, to pull their resources together. And like you said before, the guy didn't even have an id and here we talk about how, um, people think that that's just an easy thing, but if you've never done it, it's really hard to start. You don't even know where to go and you get frustrated. You feel like I'm in line here to get this particular piece of paper so I can go over here and KK has something to say about that.
(16:38):
Um, so like you're saying, like, you're right cuz you know, people that are accustomed to living with their mom and dad, you know, like having their mom and dad, it's so easy to be like, Hey mom, like, oh, hey dad, like can you take me to the D M V? Oh, can you take me here to get my id? But see, like, like she, like Sylvia was saying like in foster care or like kids that have already aged out that never had it, the reason why they don't really have it is because it takes c p s forever just to get that form. And I mean, I know why it takes long, but then again, I also understand why it takes c p s longer. Cuz sometimes, sometimes they don't really do their job, you know, they're like, oh no, you gotta wait this amount of month, this amount of month.
(17:20):
And yeah, a lot of CPSs, I'm not saying all of them are corrupt. Some of them are, and some of them aren't, but some the ones that aren't, I can tell that they aren't because they don't come to court, they don't text you back, they don't call you back. They don't really show up for you. So yeah, it's, it's, it's good to have someone who can show up for you mentally and emotionally. And when you don't have that, it's like, like you said, like I was saying, you're in survival mode. So yeah, you're right about what you're saying. It's, it's easy for kids, kids who already grew up having that support from their parents where they can e easily just be like, Hey mom, I need to go somewhere to get this application. Or for foster kids it, they have to, they might not even know who to really ask. So I just wanted to touch up on that. That's all,
(18:08):
That's a perfect addition to it. But flipping around the other way, usually parents are saying, Hey, it's time to go do this now. Yeah. But if you're in a foster situation, you may or may not get that from the family that you're placed with. They're not necessarily thinking about those things for you or they're overwhelmed with their own family and, and bringing in fosters that it's just enough for them to get food on the table and get you to school and do all the things that they have to do.
(18:43):
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(19:09):
So what is your hope for the future with what you're doing? What's the utopia? I mean, I would think that having, no, no, no more foster children, having to, but that's not reality. Reality is, is that they're here. And what is your vision for the future?
(19:31):
Well, our vision for one is to reunite families. Uh, I believe that this is the year of restoration and families that have been torn apart. You know, it's, it's really traumatizing for both the, the parent and the child. Um, I saw what it does to the child in the system. And then so I, I see us reuniting a ton of families and then also with helping with the homeless population. So getting people, getting homeless people off the streets and it, and they don't even have to be that young, because that's the one thing I asked, uh, Blake, was, did you experience a lot of you, uh, foster youth on the streets? And he goes, well, yeah, but they were way older than me. And so that tells you like they've adapted to this world of living homeless and uh, you don't have to be in your twenties to be a former foster youth and be homeless because it, it kind of does when you're, when you don't know how to, um, get the i the things that you need to get off the streets or, you know, so that's kind of what we see is reunification, um, helping the homeless and then also being a voice and changing the foster system.
(21:00):
The foster system is, the foster care system is not safe for children and it needs to be safe. If we are gonna take kids outta a a, an environment, even if they are an abused environment, we need to put them in a safe environment. We shouldn't take them from a abused environment and place them into another abused environment. And if you, if you've done some stories, I'm sure you can, you've heard that, yeah, they were taken from an abuse situation, but they were also placed in an abuse situation. So that's basically what we're trying to change is, um, the environment and the environment is really toxic. I mean really toxic.
(21:48):
Um, so basically like what she was saying, um, about like what we vision, like what I see myself is, you know, uh, right now I'm actually like, this job that I'm working with is with little kids. So it's, it's helping me to develop, you know, how to like, you know, basically be a kid again, but also to like understand how like, you know, cuz a lot of foster kids are actually young too. They're like babies or they're like at least 2, 3, 4 years old. So this job is like helping me to one, bring back my youth but also to help in like, have fun with them and communicate with them. And also one of my goals is to really just advocate for foster kids. Um, like she was saying, like I'm working with one or two girls, um, there's another girl that I used to be in the same foster home with.
(22:36):
I still check up on her. So like, you know, I try to make sure I communicate, keep this conversation going because I know a lot of times if it feels like, oh well there's no one there. So I try to keep that line open for the girls to come and communicate with me because I want them to know that they do have someone. Cuz I know that when you don't have someone texting you back or at least checking up on you, you feel like, oh, well no one cares about me. And, uh, so I, you know, I do my best to really, you know, text them back, call them a lot of the times they don't always wanna, you know, talk, but it's okay as long as I'm doing my part and showing that, you know, I care. That's all that matters. And, you know, being there for them and advocating for them. So yeah.
(23:19):
Was there anything else that you wanna share about what you're doing with the audience?
(23:26):
Well, right now, something that I have did, because this is my first time really being creative, really. Like I made, uh, cards for the first time I do flyers. So I'm starting to really get out of my comfort zone and you know, I know a lot of people have been encouraging me like, well kdl, like you can't expect someone else to do everything for you. You gotta step up the plate. So really this has really taught me to step up and get outta my comfort zone and really tap into other things that I didn't know that I was really good at. So being creative, you know, advocating, mentoring, um, yeah, like those are some things right now. Um, of course there's gonna be more, but that's, at least for right now what I've been learning.
(24:11):
I love that. I feel like you're gonna be a leader in wherever you end up. If you stay with rescue, the fosters is one thing, but wherever you end up going, you'll be a leader because you're taking the time to, um, take care of the situation and you are brave enough to, you know, carry that light with you. And I just wanna tell you that thing that, that's amazing.
(24:38):
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(25:09):
Well, I mean we're definitely working on change, like changing some laws and changing, no, I think that's the first part of it. Um, so, and that goes through DC as you know. So that's our, hopefully our net stop is DC and um, you know, I think that KK should be the voice of that because she was in the environment and she can tell what the environment was and um, how, you know, how it harmed her or benefited her. Um, so that's our, that's our net stop, um, is hopefully getting some walls changed in the system. Mm-hmm. ,
(25:50):
When I was in DC and I met Terry LaPointe who was the one who connected us, she told me all about, uh, medical kidnapped cases and I learned all about the foster care system as far as like how they are, you know, taking children and the, the pretenses that they have around their stories. And I've found that if you just talk about the problem and if you sit down and go through, like when it comes to going to dc if you go through and research who is on what committee and you research, you know, where, you know who's in what state, so that you have a representative and everything, there's a whole lot to learn from going to Washington and meeting with the senate offices in the house offices. You don't necessarily meet with the senator or the, the congressperson directly. You will meet with their staff, but their staff is required to do a roll up report. And whenever we were up there, we really did get a lot done. We probably had 15 people there that were, you know, splitting up all of the offices and going into the different ones and, and at night or the day before we're over there just typing away, um, sending emails to try to get meetings with these people. So I uh, commend you for trying to move forward with that because it's, it's a big web web of, um, of information to go through as well, just to get into the government to talk to people.
(27:29):
Yeah, exactly. No, for sure. And the other thing I just wanna add so people can understand is that why the system is like it is and it's because like we had quotas. We, we had to bring in kids and uh, we were pressured to bring in kids and we were told like if we didn't bring in like if they were adopted or reunited, that we had to bring in more kids and that was not, that didn't set right with me and it shouldn't set right with any of us. Um, and so that, that, that really is a huge issue that I want to, you know, get changed. And that's from the Title four E funding. And because you have to have so many kids in order to get this funding that should be changed. Um, but people do need to understand that these parents are not just because their kids are taken, they're not bad people. And that's the what we've been conditioned to believe that if a parent loses a child, then they did something wrong and we need to change that mindset.
(28:38):
Yeah. Because 80% of the cases go unfounded. And so I understand when you have a situation where you need to get a child into a safer environment, but this is ridiculous when you're looking at, um, removing the child is more of the default than trying to get the family patched back together or whatever's with whatever situation they're going through.
(29:04):
Right, right. Why not offer the resources to the family if there's an issue? Um, and then, you know, I mean, we could go on and on about the issues in foster care. .
(29:18):
Well, like Sylvia was saying about, you know, the, the system and everything, they really make it hard for the parents to, you know, even get their child back cuz they add so much like, oh you gotta do this, you gotta do that, you gotta do this. And their goal is to not reunify the kid. That's their goal. And it's sad because it's like, well why have that goal if you're not even gonna go forward with it? Don't even have that as a goal if you're just gonna trap the parent. Like that doesn't make any sense. And yes, I mean I you'll rarely find few parents that actually end up getting their kids back. It's very few and I will be honest with you with that. Um, it, it's, they just really make it hard for the parents, honestly. That's all I wanted to add.
(30:12):
Do you have anything through Rescue the Fosters where you're working with the parents too or are you just mainly trying to help this one group of aging out children?
(30:23):
Oh no, we work with the parents too. So we, um, we offer the resources like for each, each state and each state is different. And I, I think everyone should look at privatized foster care cuz that's really the issue. But we are also gonna be posting like, um, like the manual for each state, like the policy manual. Uh, because what I found in a lot of these cases, like KK said, they make it so difficult for the parents to get 'em back, but they're not following their own policies. Because as a case manager, that was my thing. You know, like I, I had the most reunifications and I had, um, with my caseload and that was a lot of pressure put on me because of that, because I was, uh, following the procedure and, you know, we could co we could probably do another episode on just my experience in the foster system and how they falsify documents, how we were told not to, um, put our concerns about the foster parent in our notes.
(31:34):
We were not allowed to write about it. Um, so there's a lot of, they control the narrative. So you control the narrative by saying that the parent is bad, parent is bad, biological mom is bad, biological mom is bad foster parent's, good foster parent is good. So that's how you control the narrative. But I was constantly speaking up because I'm not the type of person that's just gonna let it go by. So I was constantly getting written up, I was put on leave, I was, you know, it was just, it was just awful. So this is something that we are, you know, also advocating. And so we will post like the policy procedures on the website and they are posted on the website, but they're hidden. So that's the thing when parents start fighting cps p they start going through it and it's very hard to locate, but I know what I'm looking for because I've worked in the system so I can start pulling that now here's the manual for this date, here's the manual for that state, are they following their procedures? And that is a huge issue. So if we can make them follow their procedures, falsifying documents, uh, lying under oath, um, these are all things that we are that need to be changed and we're advocating for. So yeah, there's a lot, lots to be working , lots to work to do . Mm-hmm.
(33:06):
For sure. Yeah. It's not just, it's not just with the kids but all, all within the system and the order of everything. It just seems so backwards. The priorities.
(33:16):
Yeah. On purpose.
(33:20):
Thank you for listening today. My name is Sally Hendrick. Be sure to visit our website for show notes and more information on how you can inspire others. If you would like to contribute content to our magazine, please apply on our website at shoutyourcause.com.
